That seems to be my mantra, although not of my own choosing, but always the way; just make the best of it. Well you know what…I’m sick to death of making the best of it, tired of making silk purses from sows ears…screw that…I want more; I want the silk purse without the sow and I’m not ashamed to admit it!
My Grandmother, whom I loved with every ounce of my being, used to speak and think so highly of me, in that I always managed to make the best of any situation and see the light at the end of even the darkest tunnel. And she was right; only I’m tired of looking through the din to see the light.
The difference between this type of attitude and feeling sorry for ones self…people who feel sorry for themselves tend to wallow in their misery and do nothing about it. I on the other hand will probably get what I want, for the simple fact that I’m so damned determined to settle for nothing less than what I want and think I deserve.
My mother says to get over it and look at my accomplishments and be satisfied with them; I’m a wonderful mother, a published author and a good-hearted, caring person, who once took a detour and rode the Highway to Hell for a time and managed to get back on the right track. While that may be true and all very well and good, I’m not satisfied…not even close.
So, what am I doing about it…
I’m setting out on a personal quest; a Vision Quest if you will; based on the Native American belief that through the teachings of Earth Medicine, I will be able to transform my life and give purpose and direction to my Earth Walk. Earth Walk being the way you live your life, express your personality; the way you live out your dreams, aspirations, hopes and fears.
My goal is to discover along my journey, who I am, what I am and what the primary purpose of my life is; how to release my creative energies and develop self-confidence through an appreciation and respect of our wondrous earth that will put me in harmony with nature and the environment. Recognizing the subtle earth influences and learning how to make use of them, to bring myself in-tune with the planet’s energy; fine-tuning my psychic sensors and totems to extend my awareness and obtain guidance and advice from my higher or “spirit” self.
Sound like a bunch of hocus-pocus…perhaps to those who find themselves grounded, but in all honesty, grounded is something I’ve never been. The distinct difference between this magik and the popular conception of magic, associated with illusion and trickery, is that this is of the supernatural, and a natural use of the unseen forces of the universe under the control of the mind.
Will keep you posted of my findings along the way…