Tag Archives: Writing

Divine Intervention

Out of nowhere came this urgent need to reconnect with him. It had been several years but took only minutes before his voice was in my ear and he was damning me for reaching out again. I’d found him in limbo, which wasn’t actually surprising, he’d already done his stint in India, studying with the masters, becoming a Yogi and whoring the knowledge he’d gained for himself in order to survive. Always just trying to survive.

He was back in the states on the west coast, ready to head east if I gave the word. He was tired and just wanted to lie down, wanted to lie down with me. But I hesitated, as I always did, and no matter how brief or split second my pause, that was always the deciding factor.

We relived each moment spent, every truth ever told, forgave all the pain caused by endless lies and selfish deceptions. It was cleansing. It was cathartic. It was the most honest we’d ever been.

We said goodbye and promised to stay connected, though time slipped away and we never really did. Only after I found myself lost, once more wandering blind in the black abyss, did I reach for him again, only this time he did not come. I searched and quickly found that a brain tumor had taken my sage to the other side, just six months after we said our final goodbye.

I slipped deeper into the pit where no light could penetrate, lingering in my pain with no will to move from that place; and I stayed there for three long agonizing years. Until one night he came to me in a dream.

The next morning I searched and quickly found a message that previously had not been received. A comment left on a post he’d written after reading my words.

There must be something

Worse than being alone

More painful than lonely

Something other than death

Though I’ve yet to find it –

“I’ve been searching too. Nothing of value. I thought it was karma but it’s really just life. You move me with this one. This is powerful, this is truth…dying’s not so bad. I’m not haunting, but I am knocking.”

Death had changed me, for what I believed to be forever, loss had snuffed out my light and I knew there was no coming back; accepted as my fate to simply exist for my remaining days; until he threw a rope into the well of angst and urged me to climb out.

That changed me more than death could ever do, for in that moment I was reminded what my pain had allowed me to forget; there is no death, only a shift of worlds and our connection is never truly lost; and if he could throw me a rope from the other side of life, I could sure as hell reach out and take back mine.

~ jillterry 7.1.18

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Visual poetry

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Visual poetry

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Remeniscence

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I miss the man
He showed me
He could be
The mature mind
Intelligent thinking
Thorough explanations
Joy of teaching
Brain-width expanding
To make room
Soaking everything
As if a sponge
Time spent
Never wasted
I miss that
Most of all ~

©2014 jillterry | jillterry.com


Into the Never

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. . . and as I made my way through his forest so mystical, I came upon the entrance of choice; I hesitated not, but boldly moved forward, into the Never, which forever altered my course through all worlds ~

©2014 jillterry | jillterry.com


In a word ~ RUN

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You frolicked gaily at the masquerade
Swooned like a schoolgirl at a hit parade
Reaching and conversing throughout the day
Thinking to yourself you can do this thing

Clueless to what you’re setting yourself up for
A genius IQ does not smart this one make
It makes him cunning and wickedly dangerous
Numerous casualties left in his wake

Never to be believed
By those who think they know
Having seen only what he wants them to see
Accepting membership to his mutual admiration society

Oh, but those eyes and that innocent charm
You’re dreaming even now of being in his arms
While he claims you’re the only one understands
Sharing his stories of loneliness and pain

This isn’t fate and you haven’t touched his soul
He wants nothing from you but simple validation
If lucky another notch on his bed of four posts
To appease and arouse his manipulating ego

©2014 jillterry│jillterry.com


Contemplation

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As I walk along this sand covered patch of earth, the wind cool upon my flesh, bringing the waves to a crashing end, just inches from my feet; it’s hard for me to fathom that there are people dotting the same world, who woke to this day, hearts filled with hatred, souls set on death and destruction; under the same beautiful sun that kisses my skin even now.

©2013 jillterry
jillterry.com


Self Disclosure

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She doesn’t want to be
The light of anyone’s life
She can’t be the reason
For someone’s existence

She’s not responsible for
Making the world tolerable
She can’t give or share
Something that’s not there

She’s long since
Forgotten the man
But she’ll never forget
Something he once said

“My greatest fear for you,
is that while you sit alone,
along the rocky shores of life,
you’ll forget that your light is
a beacon for others to see by.”

She wonders if
Anyone knows
Or even thought
For just a moment

How dark ones path
Can quickly become
Pitch so black
As a starless sky

When others choose
Consciously or not
To use that light
Giving nothing in return

©2013 jillterry
jillterry.com


les amoureux

enmeshed

When the world around grows dark and quiet,
finally coming to rest in silence;
two souls come together,
intertwine and mesh with the night.
Those are the best hours.
Those are their hours . . .

©2013 jillterry
Jillterry.com


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