Tag Archives: reality check

MESSAGE RECEIVED

I haven’t seen or spoken to him since the day of her funeral.

We sat at the table with him and he made us laugh, with his stories and orneriness, just being himself. He was a pillar of strength, though the pain was clear in his eyes, he forced smiles for her sake and I found out that day, after forty-four years, he thinks that I am a pretty girl; and silly as it is, I felt about five years old.

I never was very close to him growing up, but over the last several years we’ve become more so. He amazes me with his wealth of knowledge and common sense, from a lifetime of living, lessons learned, mistakes made; and speaking his mind, shooting it straight, because that’s just who he is, when the wall comes down and he speaks his truth.

His knowledge of the world stems from a lifetime of reading and watching nothing but public television, for they never had cable television, or even a VCR. But pick a topic and he can talk it better than most.

I received a card from him today, a simple holiday greeting, inside at the bottom written in bold, underlined three times was one single word…LOVE and I sat alone, in my corner and cried.

For not only have I been selfishly wrapped in my own world, driving myself crazy inside my own mind, but I didn’t even think to send him a card, or bother to call and wish him Merry Christmas, and ask him how he was; his first one without her in nearly seventy years.

He’s lonely; horribly, terribly miserable and alone. Just as I am, but for very different reasons; but he remembered me and he made the effort, when the only person I’ve thought of for months now, is myself.

This was my wake-up call, my reality check if you will; that elements in my world have got to change, or another year, I simply will not survive.

Thank you, Grandpa, for giving me so much more than a holiday card and underlined three times, your love in bold…

©2011 Jill Terry

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PAINTING PICTURES

Standing in the waiting line, minding no one’s business but her own, when a voice too familiar spoke out from behind her; “I used to have that all the time,” she heard him say; “It’s even better than it looks,” he finished with a chuckle; as her body tensed and her blood ran cold; knowing full well he wasn’t referring the pumpkin spice latte just put back on the menu.

She turned her head, glancing slowly over her shoulder; and there he stood in all his egocentric glory, with what appeared to be a new country club buddy; who looked her once over with eyes of a predator, having just identified his next meal.

She looked down at her phone, at what moments before she’d been lost in, before the unwanted, calculated interruption; slowly she grinned, taking two steps toward him; then standing center between them, she tore her gaze away, raised her head till her eyes met his, leaned in and softly said…

“I used to think yours was the best sex I ever had, even though you fumbled like a school boy, and never once did you bring me to climax.” She smiled as she looked back down at her phone, took a deep cleansing breath then exhaled the words, “Silly girl…”

Her eyes never once left the palm of her hand; her voice throaty, trembling at times, her thumb once caressed the screen in longing; and it seemed for a moment she spoke to no one but herself –

He knows the softness
The warmth
The feel of naked flesh

The helplessness
The beauty
The need
The sensitivity

All happening inside
Opening to his touch
He whispers deep
Hot on my neck

What he sees
What he wants
What’s coming next

He uses his fingers
His tongue
His breath

He touches
He plays
He makes me beg

And just as I
Reach for him
Ready to

Her words cut short, as the Barista called her name; she raised her voice in unison with her eyes, locking with his while noting his stunned expression, “Make it a Quint and hold the whip…”

© 2011 Jill Terry


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