Tag Archives: observations

Craving

The yearning
Twisted emotion
Consumed all thought

In the end
Realizing
The very thing
I sought
Was not at all
What I wanted

The yearning itself
Is what I craved

The sweet distraction
From monotonous
Existence
That I had grown
Oh so tired of

©2010 Jill Terry

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Inner Realms

It’s that fleeting moment when you hang in the balance; no longer awake, not fully asleep. Where reality and fantasy enmesh and become one; and you know with clear certainty, in the deepest most secret recesses of your soul that what you thought was only a dream, was actually your truth…

© jillterry


quote of the day

“To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence.”

~ Friedrich Nietzsche


Means to an end

means to an end

With old patterns faltering in the wake of time, serving him less and less; desperation creeps, then slowly sets in.

Searching for something real to cling to; in a world of illusion and cheap parlor tricks; of which he created and has always dwelled.

Better to be an imaginary somebody, than a real no body; his platform, his soapbox, his mission, his salvation.

Spewing his gospel as weightless as smoke rings, growing bored with his half dozen converts; unable to stroke his monstrous ego; he sees only one place left to go.

One soul he touched. Upon a time was touched by. He refuses to release and let go. Disguised as forgiveness, he sets about his mission; back to the only arms left, that wait wide open.

Naïve and weak, yet privy to his ways; a masochist for certain, to take him back in. She is not the reason, but merely a convenience. Providing him shelter, buying him time; bringing him closer to where he believes salvation resides.

The beautiful butterfly, with delicate wings; once so fragile, easily ravaged; consumes his thoughts, still rules his darkness; and so true to predator form, of which he will always be, he sets about stalking, making connections; broadcasting his relation, as if guaranteeing him a position. Wasting time, sniffing and searching; for the butterfly has morphed, long ago taken flight.

And so time ticks on, for this wasted life; over educated and under achieved. When he could have soared to the greatest of heights; been a true inspiration, perhaps a revered master. But the only expertise, he can lay claim in the end; is leaving a trail of pain, in the wake of his disaster.

© jillterry


Wasted youth

The parking lot was full
Spilling over onto the boulevard
Hearse at the ready
To lead the procession

102 in the shade
Suffocating humidity
No breeze to speak of
All those gathered
Dressed in black

Mourning the loss
Young life wasted
Blood and tears pouring
Tragically taken

Listening through the wall
Razors trembling fingers
As her mother fucked
Yet another unknown stranger

The warning signs
Flashing neon
Young voice hoarse
Screaming out for help

But she had no interest
In playing mother
Too busy living
Her own lost youth

The belle of the ball
Life’s ongoing party
Of superficial friends
Hookups and hangovers

Standing at the graveside
Pounding in her head
Fist full of dirt
Her only child dead

© jillterry


Shallow Sal

Just as it began
To materialize
For the first time in
His life

Wrapping his head
His heart around it
Embracing with wild
Abandon

Shifting perception
To a clearer view
Uninhibited
Filled with wonder

Unveiling calm
In the storm of
His life
To his true self
Introductions made

Freedom offered
At too high a cost
He weighed the options
Too much to be lost

He fabricated a story
That fit the bill
Sold his soul
For that house on
The hill

Building his arsenal
Of material possessions
At the end of day
Believing he’s
Made it

© jillterry


Stalker-Ella

stalkerella

She asks questions
Too many
For my zone
Of comfort

Personal in nature
A stalkers arsenal
As if to glimpse
Inside my world

Ridiculous assumptions
Personal judgments
Strange fascination
Prying curiosity

Gathering information
Painting a picture
By what she sees
Thinks she knows

What is the purpose
This strange fascination
Just take my order
Give me my espresso

© jillterry


4:44

4:44 eyes open wide
Lay in the dark
Gaze at the clock

4:44 make a wish
So the final chapter
Begins

4:44 everywhere I look
Is it malicious intent
Or only mere coincidence

4:44 how to break the spell
Locate and remove the
Emotional connection chip

4:44 she looked at his photo
Saw right through
Called his emotional baggage

4:44 he died that day
Sexual abuse at such
A young age

4:44 he lost all trust
Made it his life’s mission
To punish all women

4:44 he took what he wanted
Truth of it was
I could have loved him

4:44 heartless son of a bitch
Died twice on my watch
Come to raise the dead

4:44 just go away
To your charm once more
I refuse to fall prey

© jillterry


Internal hard drive

Something about that
Penetrating gaze
Of his

As if
He’s looking
Right through

Studying the
Surface
Reading the
Expression

While searching
The cause
Within

Snickering at
The display
Emotions painted
On face

Knowing
What lingers
Inside

Certain of
Himself
Too much so
Some times

Just smile
And nod
Let it go

He strolls
In and out
Watching the
Show

Flowing like
Water
A river to
The sea

The Zen in
My path
In a place
Gone mad

Sunshine
That lights
Those dark
Days

© jillterry


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