Tag Archives: lies

Divine Intervention

Out of nowhere came this urgent need to reconnect with him. It had been several years but took only minutes before his voice was in my ear and he was damning me for reaching out again. I’d found him in limbo, which wasn’t actually surprising, he’d already done his stint in India, studying with the masters, becoming a Yogi and whoring the knowledge he’d gained for himself in order to survive. Always just trying to survive.

He was back in the states on the west coast, ready to head east if I gave the word. He was tired and just wanted to lie down, wanted to lie down with me. But I hesitated, as I always did, and no matter how brief or split second my pause, that was always the deciding factor.

We relived each moment spent, every truth ever told, forgave all the pain caused by endless lies and selfish deceptions. It was cleansing. It was cathartic. It was the most honest we’d ever been.

We said goodbye and promised to stay connected, though time slipped away and we never really did. Only after I found myself lost, once more wandering blind in the black abyss, did I reach for him again, only this time he did not come. I searched and quickly found that a brain tumor had taken my sage to the other side, just six months after we said our final goodbye.

I slipped deeper into the pit where no light could penetrate, lingering in my pain with no will to move from that place; and I stayed there for three long agonizing years. Until one night he came to me in a dream.

The next morning I searched and quickly found a message that previously had not been received. A comment left on a post he’d written after reading my words.

There must be something

Worse than being alone

More painful than lonely

Something other than death

Though I’ve yet to find it –

“I’ve been searching too. Nothing of value. I thought it was karma but it’s really just life. You move me with this one. This is powerful, this is truth…dying’s not so bad. I’m not haunting, but I am knocking.”

Death had changed me, for what I believed to be forever, loss had snuffed out my light and I knew there was no coming back; accepted as my fate to simply exist for my remaining days; until he threw a rope into the well of angst and urged me to climb out.

That changed me more than death could ever do, for in that moment I was reminded what my pain had allowed me to forget; there is no death, only a shift of worlds and our connection is never truly lost; and if he could throw me a rope from the other side of life, I could sure as hell reach out and take back mine.

~ jillterry 7.1.18

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Poem-a-Day


Quote of the day

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Shift Happens

Eight minutes that just might shift your entire perspective of life as you think you know it. Please, take the time to watch and listen. WE write the story, now let’s get busy and rewrite it!

The Lie We Live


Masquerade

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Never ending expansion
Something everywhere you look
Not a single vacant corner
Nor a empty nook

Filling the void
One purchase at a time
Momentary satisfaction
Props for the facade

But the emptiness
Ever present
Just as truth and mistrust
Always linger

Betrayal and lying
The fabric with which you’ve woven
The brilliant tapestry
Shrouds the truth of your lives

©2014 jillterry | jillterry.com


bad oyster

badoyster

Charismatic
Handsome
Intelligent

The world was
His oyster

Plucking pearls
He happened across
Basking in their
Luminescence

Until he grew
Bored

Then back into
The sea
From whence
They came

Neurotoxic poisoning
Traces left
Everywhere

Not because
They sprang
From within a
Bad oyster

But simply from
Being
Touched by
Him

©jillterry│jillterry.com


In a word ~ RUN

masquerade1

You frolicked gaily at the masquerade
Swooned like a schoolgirl at a hit parade
Reaching and conversing throughout the day
Thinking to yourself you can do this thing

Clueless to what you’re setting yourself up for
A genius IQ does not smart this one make
It makes him cunning and wickedly dangerous
Numerous casualties left in his wake

Never to be believed
By those who think they know
Having seen only what he wants them to see
Accepting membership to his mutual admiration society

Oh, but those eyes and that innocent charm
You’re dreaming even now of being in his arms
While he claims you’re the only one understands
Sharing his stories of loneliness and pain

This isn’t fate and you haven’t touched his soul
He wants nothing from you but simple validation
If lucky another notch on his bed of four posts
To appease and arouse his manipulating ego

©2014 jillterry│jillterry.com


Ring of Fire

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And she jumped through willingly, every ring of fire, an animal doing tricks, in hopes of pleasing her trainer; presents-a-plenty whenever she succeeded, loving words and tender touches that soothed the wounds and eased the burn. And though he longed to be her master, he misstepped one too many, and as any wild lioness, being tempted to be tamed, she didn’t take kindly to his mishandling, and that would-be masters heart she maimed.

©2014 jillterry | jillterry.com


In truth

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He could no longer see the goodness, feel the warmth from the light that emanated from within her; no longer cared or believed her claims of love. For the vile hurtful words of truth penetrated deep, daggers slung with precision, straight to the heart. But instead of pulling them out and assessing the damage his truth perpetuated, in an attempt to heal his own wounds and those he inflicted on others, he preferred to leave them there to fester, become diseased, possibly be the death of him; so he could once again coast on pity, feigning the victim, while easing his conscience in convincing himself that she was just like all the rest. When in truth, there had never been another like her, nor would there ever be again.

©2013 jillterry | jillterry.com


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