Tag Archives: knowing

Heart of Oneness

It’s that moment
When all is aligned
My hand to your lips
Your eyes meeting mine

When everything
Is so familiar
There is no question
Only the knowing

©2012 jillie
Jillterry.com

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Reawakening

Detached I had become
From all that surrounds me
Seeing things from a skewed and twisted perception
Seeing – but not through my own eyes

Focusing on nonsensical aspects
Letting the truth slip away
Allowing myself to free fall
Because of it

Then the long dark cloud blew in
Forever looming – blocking out the light
All light – leaving an abyss of blackest pitch
Bent on destruction and slow painful consumption

Finding myself once more at the threshold
Not heaven’s pearly gates
Nor hell’s flaming lakes
Simply death – nothing more

ENTRY DENIED
Not once but thrice
Back into the corporeal world
Desperately I was pulled

By the very light I allowed to be diffused
Due to lack of faith, fear and doubt
The blinding light that never fades
Never goes out – transcends all

Time
Space
Worlds

The eternal light of LOVE
Borderless – all powerful – Infinite
Highlighting the subtle insignificance
Of so many aspects upon which we place importance

The scale by which all else should be measured
The one clear path to truth – understanding – happiness
The only guide I will ever again follow

Throughout the remainder of this life
Into my death – onto the next

~ jill

©2012 jillterry.com


LEFT BEHIND

She sat in the corner, listening to the deafening sound of silence, the room cold and dark, but for the faint amber glow of the accent lamp that illuminated the edge of her desk. She looked at the untouched plate of food and her stomach recoiled at the sight. She needed to get rid of it, the smell that she hadn’t noticed until it visually invaded her space, suddenly making her nauseous; but she was too numb to even think, much less get up and take it to the kitchen. She managed enough motion to touch the edge of the plate with her fingertip, and slowly push it away, until it tipped then disappeared over the side of the desk into the waiting wastebasket below.

She didn’t understand how she could feel so much pain, when it was emptiness that filled her now; how it could be that she found herself living for a dream that at moments such as this seemed absolutely hopeless; on her knees, futilely begging him to see, that he’s everything she ever wanted and all that she needs. Wondering if it was as easy as it seemed, for him to walk away and leave her there; lost and alone, spiraling out of control in a grief-stricken meltdown of epic proportion; her fragile strength slipping away completely when he told her, quite simply, No.

There was no stopping the flow of tears or gut-wrenching sobs, as images flashed from an internal reel, and the one she kept coming to over and over, was the sweet sadness that filled his eyes; sadness that revealed the depth of his own anguish and pain, over what had transpired and become their situation.

She saw herself reach out and gently touch his face, telling him she loved him, kissing his sweet lips, feeling for the first time that she alone, was enough; and she wished in that moment she could have left this plane of agonizing existence, wrapped in the warmth of his sheltering embrace, having closed her eyes and simply drowned in his love.

©2011 Jill Terry


Inner Realms

It’s that fleeting moment when you hang in the balance; no longer awake, not fully asleep. Where reality and fantasy enmesh and become one; and you know with clear certainty, in the deepest most secret recesses of your soul that what you thought was only a dream, was actually your truth…

© jillterry


Taste test

He kissed me
Passionately
Then asked me
To leave

Only wanted
A taste
Said he wasn’t
Hungry

© jillterry


Death Trap

Ra_Revisited_by_mreman

She doesn’t seek his memory, it just comes creeping; and when it does, that’s all there is.

Its nothing to do with fear or inspiration; building a fan base that was there long before he was; or anything at all for matter of fact. For who would dream of seeking such hurt.

Its simply a means of soul survival; an attempt to heal, her wounds on her own. Purging her being in the form of words; bloodletting her system of his poison, his disease. Being caught in the death trap, he sets and springs.

His desperation for reprieve, amounting to nothing; empty words of apology and pleas of forgiveness. He gobbles her words and his ego grows, waiting for Twitter to tell him there’s more.

© jillterry


Memory Holes

Tunnel

My mission was clear, determined in the hours preceding my slumber. A journey must be made in order to obtain the necessary information to formulate my plot. And so under the cloak of darkness, when my body and mind were at rest and the door to world’s unknown lay open and waiting, my spirit took flight and magically passed through.

Preparation of meditation and cleansing are no longer necessary for me, as once they were. I simply bring to the forefront of my thinking that a journey is required, and once I reach a plateau of unconsciousness where my spirit is able to detach itself, it does so eagerly and without pause. As if triggering a mechanism, all that I see, hear, feel, taste and touch are recorded in the memory banks of my mind; for future extraction upon reentry of my spirit.

Astral flight, astral projection, out-of-body experience; call it what you will, the process is the same, though the outcome widely varies. Normally, there is a clear and decisive reason for these journeys; as the answer to a question or solution to a problem is sought. This time, however, I left myself wide open with no particular question or problem, just the need and want to visit a dimension I had never before traveled, in order to capture and create from whence I had come.

I was not disappointed, but I was however distressed and somewhat traumatized by the experience. It was as if I was being led, instead of traveling of my own free will, and the one doing the leading had a specific reason for taking me there. The reason was to reacquaint me with my sin. The destination was HELL!

The corridor was long and dark, with hard-packed dirt floors and walls of rock that were high and arched; like the tunnels they dig through mountains, only there was no end in sight.

As I was led through the center of the tunnel, glass-fronted rooms lined either side. In each room, or life-size box as I came to think of them, was a specific scene from my life; scenes of sin that I had forced myself to forget; filing them away in the deepest recesses of my mind, where I was certain they would stay locked. Suddenly, and without warning, forced to relive each and every one.

To stand outside the box and watch, grateful when the show was over and the box went dark; only to turn and see the miles and miles of sin that lay ahead; sin that I must now suffer; as no thought, regard or consideration was given at the time.

The dread I felt, at the prospect of having to suffer so many, pales in comparison to the shame, regret and repulsion I felt; as I watched myself commit one deadly sin after another.

I begged for mercy, but mercy was not given; for this is death at its inception and what each and every one of us must go through. While the decision has already been made, the process by which it was determined is played out for us; right before our eyes, in the form of our lives.

“Be certain that your sins will find you out.”
Numbers 32:23

Ⓒjillterry


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