Tag Archives: illusion

Don’t be defined 



Wondering how they reached that place, turning their backs and walking away; back to the ball of merriment, where laughter and play is the name of the game, and the medicated haze once thought just a phase, does nothing but illuminate his illusion.

©2013 jill terry

Hidden truths


The pain we carry
Whether real or
Mental phantoms
Keep us trapped

No matter what hope
We think we’ve found
Or how deep a mark
We believe we’ve made

The illusion fades
Because it’s a mere
Surface reflection
Of who we really are

In fear we retreat
Back inside ourselves
Not wanting to reveal
Or able to self heal

Our hidden truths

Personal demons
That cause fear and pain
With the power to drive
All else away


The Look

the look

The pause between breaths
Seemingly lasted forever
The numb and wounded heart
Immediately jumpstarted

One fleeting glimpse
That knowing look
Senses reeled
Illusion ensued

And for just a moment
Empty spaces filled
And it felt as if
He’d come back home

©2013 jill terry

End of Story

shadow play

None of it matters
It was all just illusion
Snagged on a shadow
Working her way free

©2013 jillie

The Silent Killer

the silent killer

Fear is a silent killer that comes in many forms, recognizable at times, well disguised at others; it slowly chips away at us. Breaking off pieces, sometimes chunks at a time, from the inside out until there is nothing left.

She tried again and again to express her heartfelt apologies and sorrow for the things that had transpired, the words slung like daggers straight to the heart; acquiescing it was her own fear and unknowing that spewed forth, when all she really wanted was answers to lingering questions, reassurance that all was not lost and to feel connected once more. But it was all to no avail.

For he could no longer see the goodness, feel the warmth from the light that emanated from within her; no longer cared or believed her claims of love. For the vile hurtful words penetrated deep, cutting like knives and instead of pulling them out and attempting to heal the wounds, he preferred to leave them there to fester, become diseased, possibly be the death of him, as a reminder that she was just like all the rest.

He refused to see or entertain the idea that circumstances beyond anyone’s control could possibly have been factors in the emotional outbursts that ensued. No span of time or space offered healing of any sort, for she no longer took him to that happy place, where he felt good about himself inside and out; there were others who filled that role now, others with whom he could relate and play, who took him away from the pain, if only momentarily, if only in his mind; and so he simply aimed to cast her out and forget, dismiss and toss her aside, throw her and her demons away, as a piece of trash that’s quietly hauled away and forgotten.

Forget that she had bared her heart and soul, exposed pieces of self that filled her with shame and she never wanted to relive again; doing so at his urging and prompting, all in the name of healing; things she had never shared with another living soul. Things she buried deep and locked away, sought to take to her grave, things he now knew and she wished he didn’t. She trusted him with everything and now he viewed her as nothing.

And even though he’d done the same, questioning her over and over about things that were of no consequence or didn’t exist anywhere but in his own mind, she eagerly answered every question he ever asked of her, trying to dispel that fear and reassure him; but none of that now mattered or was even a factor, for there was no rebuilding of their world; a world he once convinced her was built on a foundation of absolute trust, truth and love, like none other he had ever known.

And so she goes on, seemingly breathing but gasping for every breath, walking silently, alive but mostly dead; believing in nothing and no one; knowing that truth is but a lie, trust does not exist and true love is but a mere fable sought by romantics and faerie tale poets; and a surefire weapon used by womanizing men who seek nothing more than validation from countless women to remind them they’re alive.

A travesty she will carry through this life and all others…

©2013 jill

Dismal hiss of intrusiveness

With the dawn of a new day
A torrent of realization follows
Illusions of grandeur
Dwindled to simplistic truths

Lofty dreams and fairytale fantasies
Borne for the minds of children
Have no dwelling place
In the hearts of damaged adults

The vicious cycle
Of damnation and destruction
Continues to spiral
A never ending circle

When the halls of the soul
Are entered and explored
Barred doors ripped open
The beasts within freed
To once more roam

Wrapping round the soul
Penetrating the mind
Hardening the heart
Of their very own captor

After a lifetime of suppression
Not for the sake of denial
But a well learned method
The only means of survival

A glimmer of hope
A bright shining light
Truth sought through the ages
Plunged into eternal darkness

Left on the battlefield
To face these demons once more
Nothing gained everything lost
A living hell she never asked for

A promise broken
Unable to face her unknown
Protector and confidant
Fled for the sake of sanity

Forced once more
Into the pit of her own hell
Her defenses weakened
To fight this battle alone

©2012 jillie

It’s too late

We both knew it had to end
Couldn’t go on the way it was
One of us had to say stop
I couldn’t find the will or strength

And now that he’s gone
Turned his back and walked away
I find my self wanting to tell him
All the things he needed to know
All the stones I never unturned

But he’s gone now
Maybe not forever
But who can live for one day
When this day holds
No hope
No promise

And memories of yesterdays
Are shrouded in darkness

©2012 jillie


It never ceases to amaze me
To what lengths people will go
To appease their own ego
To maintain the façade

Making themselves
And their lives
Appear more gradiouse
Than they actually are

How many would rather
Live a life built on lies
Rather than face
And admit their own truth

Its only when we accept
The true nature of things
That we’re able to find
True happiness

In ourselves
In others
In our lives
In our world

Embrace your own truth
No matter how ugly
For only in doing so
Can we set ourselves free

©2011 Jill Terry

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