Tag Archives: hope

Divine Intervention

Out of nowhere came this urgent need to reconnect with him. It had been several years but took only minutes before his voice was in my ear and he was damning me for reaching out again. I’d found him in limbo, which wasn’t actually surprising, he’d already done his stint in India, studying with the masters, becoming a Yogi and whoring the knowledge he’d gained for himself in order to survive. Always just trying to survive.

He was back in the states on the west coast, ready to head east if I gave the word. He was tired and just wanted to lie down, wanted to lie down with me. But I hesitated, as I always did, and no matter how brief or split second my pause, that was always the deciding factor.

We relived each moment spent, every truth ever told, forgave all the pain caused by endless lies and selfish deceptions. It was cleansing. It was cathartic. It was the most honest we’d ever been.

We said goodbye and promised to stay connected, though time slipped away and we never really did. Only after I found myself lost, once more wandering blind in the black abyss, did I reach for him again, only this time he did not come. I searched and quickly found that a brain tumor had taken my sage to the other side, just six months after we said our final goodbye.

I slipped deeper into the pit where no light could penetrate, lingering in my pain with no will to move from that place; and I stayed there for three long agonizing years. Until one night he came to me in a dream.

The next morning I searched and quickly found a message that previously had not been received. A comment left on a post he’d written after reading my words.

There must be something

Worse than being alone

More painful than lonely

Something other than death

Though I’ve yet to find it –

“I’ve been searching too. Nothing of value. I thought it was karma but it’s really just life. You move me with this one. This is powerful, this is truth…dying’s not so bad. I’m not haunting, but I am knocking.”

Death had changed me, for what I believed to be forever, loss had snuffed out my light and I knew there was no coming back; accepted as my fate to simply exist for my remaining days; until he threw a rope into the well of angst and urged me to climb out.

That changed me more than death could ever do, for in that moment I was reminded what my pain had allowed me to forget; there is no death, only a shift of worlds and our connection is never truly lost; and if he could throw me a rope from the other side of life, I could sure as hell reach out and take back mine.

~ jillterry 7.1.18




I see you suffering and wish there was something I could do for you
I witness your pain and my own heart aches
I see you spiraling faster each day
Downward motion to nowhere land
I wonder who’ll be waiting when you reach the end
Unsure what led you to this path
You no longer walk but run these days
The shift came sudden and without any warning
Your sanity slipped and crazed madness set in
You pushed aside all that was real
Lost sight of your self completely
Chasing that ever illusive sensation
Known simply as euphoria
You haven’t a positive word to say
Allowing negativity to swallow you whole
I say these things because I know this place
Having visited and lingered a time or two
Your beauty and intelligence still shines in your eyes
Though clouded by your tears
With love and understanding I offer this prayer to the Universe
That someday soon you’ll find your way home


Playground Love

I saw it today
For the first time
In forever
That place I once played
Free to be me

My heart raced
With undeniable yearning
To be back inside
The need overwhelming

I sat and looked on
Tall rusted ferris wheel
While memories spun round
Ghosts reappeared

I walked alone
Toward the area of abandonment
Through waist high weeds
My excitement increasing

A fence blocked my path
Surrounding the border
With a hand-painted sign

My heart like a rock
Dropped and broke open
As I looked in from the outside
Overwrought with sorrow

©2013 jill terry

amare aeternam

But if the truth of our heart and soul exists
Gather loves shattered remnants
Bind and bathe in silver corded light
Cast out this immedicabile vulnus

That we will live in the golden age
Once again see the rise of heroes
The triumph of light
The end of darkness

©2012 jillie


Five lives momentarily touched
Five lives briefly brought together
From four corners of the world
By a single caring heart
A lone extraordinary soul

Within minutes of posting, I had two responses. One dismissed it as mindless drivel, the other came to agree, after his own memories were sparked and giving the words a little more thought. And one came from across the seas, with a message that I can safely say, gave us all renewed hope.

Hope that the generations we now are raising, can move forward with determination, follow their hearts, be true to their souls, become leaders and teachers with the power to change the world.

That’s the hope I see each and every day, in the eyes of my child, that all is not lost…

This is the post of which I refer –

So, my 14 year old whose been teaching himself Japanese and been fascinated with the culture for as long as I can remember, has just informed me that he is so disgusted and appalled by the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki that he has no intention of remaining in America any longer than absolutely necessary; because he feels indebted to Japan for the unconscionable acts of the American Military, and will be moving there, living among them and doing whatever he personally can to make amends for what this country did, 67 years before he was born.

I have no words…

©2012 jillterry.com

These are the responses that I received –

-Who’s teaching the history in his school? 😦

-War is Hell. Created by man against man. Know your history.

-I agree Jill. I did not have time to think fully about what you posted until my ride to work brought back memories of what my Father said to me about the war while he watched me imitating it as a child playing and fighting with others. He reminded me of all the innocent people who were sacrificied by their goverments. He would not go into the gory details of what he saw because I was too young to share that with. But he gave me empathy for what had happened. I too like your son began to be angered by what had happened when those bombs where dropped and by what had happened in Europe as well. I wanted to apologize. I researched Japean’s culture. As I got older I began to understand the bigger picture that war is fought between goverments. People like ourselves are the victims. You are very fortunate to have a Son that has this empathy.
I respect him for it. Your picture is a reminder of where hate leads us.
This merely my opinion and I’m sure there is more to learn from this.

-Hello everyone I am Japanese. Japanese is not a grudge against the Americans. We think war is bad. There is a video of gratitude to the American people to my post. Please see it. Thank you a lot! We can speak freely in this way. However, China and Hong Kong, Internet censorship has become stricter every day. To everyone. Americans travelers to Japan, during them stay, are said from the unknown Japanese people, that “Thank you for the support” =D. oh sorry I can’t speak English well. This is a video of thanks from us to you guys

This is the video so kindly shared



Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly…

The day dawned
Bright and new
Sunlight streaming
Warm breeze wafting

Pulling me from sleep
A magickal slumber
Awakening at last
To a brand new world

Strange and foreign
Yet somehow seemingly familiar
Where my first thoughts
Were not of another
But simply of myself

Taking moments to realize
A transformation had happened
And things that meant
So much yesterday
I find now of absolutely
No consequence

Shift happens
So I’ve always said
Having fully believed
Now finally experiencing

Thinking of myself
Finally for a change
In a positive light
Completely unselfishly

Taking care of me now
Priority number one
And those who choose
To be part of my life
Can take me as I am
Or simply move on

I will not apologize
For my thoughts and my feelings
For my wants and my needs
For my faults and my weakness
For my human frailty

And while they are still
Very much part of me
They no longer define me
This person I am

An independent thinking
Strong-willed intelligent woman
Who will no longer settle
For less than she deserves

I fell off to sleep
Bleeding, bruised and broken
I woke filled with courage
Hope and determination

I will no longer suffer
Or be any mans fool
A new day has dawned
And I’m changing the rules

©2012 Jill Terry

Happy Holidays

Faith makes all things possible
Hope makes all things work
Love makes all things beautiful
May you have all the three
This Holiday season!



Silver and ebony
She is autumn’s child
At the height of her being
Living on fate

Moments of melancholy
Memories fade
Hope slowly wanes
Bringing fits of rage

Seeing and hearing
Things forced on her person
Swallowing them whole
Then choking and purging

Fighting her way
To another worlds end
Where no one has to hurt
Beyond the invisible

© 2011 Jill Terry

Reason for Existence

He knew
Without question
Simply no way to explain

Heartaches torn from words
Words torn from heartaches
Cold freezing touches
From the wicked wicked ghosts
Ghosts of Life Past

Blinding love
Illuminating pain and fear
Pain and fear blinding love
Illuminating distance and space
Clutching at familiarity and fleeting comfort

Trepidation ruling emotion
Fear of the unknown
Disaster plan in motion
Tragedy expected and prepared for
Never bearing fruit
But damage inflicted regardless

Simplicity all that is required
An elegance in reality

He loved her
She loved him
Should be the only ingredient
The only requirement

But nothing is ever that simple
Elegance never truly exists

He must, then, simply
Pray and hope
Petition the Gods
Sacrifice to the Fates

That he
Might be

Her raison d’être

© 2011 Jill Terry

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