I lost my first love to death at nineteen, chased his ghost for a decade; trying to find him, trying to find who I was without him, until I met the mate of my soul; found love with him so true and unconditional that I was totally free just to be and discover me. Now too, I have lost that love to death – my greatest love, my true love, my last love; and while I know exactly who I am now, don’t have to search or chase his ghost, for I see and feel him everywhere, in every thing, I can’t get past the pain of my broken heart to even fill my lungs with a full breath. Love changed us, it made us better, it created precious life from the best of both of us, it saved us more than once and his death has changed me still more. If I could feel anything past this pain perhaps I could find a way to peel my self off the floor.
~ jill terry 7.7.16
Tag Archives: heartbreak
I see you suffering and wish there was something I could do for you
I witness your pain and my own heart aches
I see you spiraling faster each day
Downward motion to nowhere land
I wonder who’ll be waiting when you reach the end
Unsure what led you to this path
You no longer walk but run these days
The shift came sudden and without any warning
Your sanity slipped and crazed madness set in
You pushed aside all that was real
Lost sight of your self completely
Chasing that ever illusive sensation
Known simply as euphoria
You haven’t a positive word to say
Allowing negativity to swallow you whole
I say these things because I know this place
Having visited and lingered a time or two
Your beauty and intelligence still shines in your eyes
Though clouded by your tears
With love and understanding I offer this prayer to the Universe
That someday soon you’ll find your way home
Rain falls softly
Outside my window
Living feels so easy
Close my eyes
Spread my wings
Reach for the sky
Aloft in flight
In the shadow
Of this light
Is no longer
The shape of
© Jill Terry
I see you suffering, and I wish there was something I could do for you.
I witness your pain, and my own heart aches.
I see you spiraling, faster each day; downward motion to nowhere land.
I wonder who’ll be waiting when you reach the end.
Unsure what led you to this path; you no longer walk, but run these days.
The shift came sudden and without any warning.
Your sanity slipped and crazed madness set in.
You pushed aside all that was real; lost sight of your self completely.
Chasing that ever illusive sensation; known simply as euphoria.
You haven’t a positive word to say; allowing negativity to swallow you whole.
I say these things, because I know this place; having visited a time or two.
Your beauty and intelligence still shines in your eyes; though clouded by your tears.
With love and understanding, I offer this prayer; that someday soon, you’ll find your way home.
Dear Veronica Lake,
The truth of us.
Something you believe only the two of you share; yet something we’ve all been forced to wonder about. We too had a truth in an airport, he and I; just as he had truths made up of lies with a plethora of intelligent, creative, beautiful, loving, soulful women; all of which were spoon-fed the exact same line, differing only slightly, as the situation, circumstance and female heart warranted.
At this point, you refuse to believe that which your mind has forced you to wonder of; as your heart precariously dangles by a soul string. Wanting so much to believe that he is who he says, that YOU are the twin of his flame, the mate of his soul and yours is the only connection that is real and matters. Refusing to believe that what you shared during your time together meant nothing, when it meant and still means, absolutely everything to you.
Finally realizing, for the first time in your life, since your karmic connection, that YASS, this is the way it was intended. Finally another soul on earth, who understands you like none other. No judgments; just complete, unconditional acceptance and love. Exactly what you always knew, in the depths of your soul, love was supposed to be. Every wasted moment and past mistake leading to this crossroad that brought the two of you together….
Ignoring the red flags, due to his lifetime membership within the upper echelons of intelligencia. Stories of his dysfunctional and abusive childhood, which as a mother you can surely sympathize. His self-destructive pain and angst, leading him to long for death; his only comfort found within darkness’ welcome embrace; singing always that sweet song of stygian.
Believing in your heart that your love for him can and will make a difference; that happiness can be found and shared, if only he would allow himself to trust, believe and take your hand. At this point, your perception of your own reality so skewed that you know for certain the only way to survive this life is with him by your side.
Wake up, love. This isn’t a classic movie you’re starring in; this is your life you’re allowing him to fuck with. There’s an antidote for those of us who have been infected with this disease; the first step is realizing you want and need to be cured.
The sooner you realize that there is no truth where the Hyena is concerned and the only reason he will ever come back is if there is something he needs from you, which he cannot provide for himself; the better off you and yours will be.
The only way to get back to living is by killing the Hyena. He must become dead to you in order to see and accept the truth; the only truth there is of him. The one too many of us have come to know…