Tag Archives: ghosts

Divine Intervention

Out of nowhere came this urgent need to reconnect with him. It had been several years but took only minutes before his voice was in my ear and he was damning me for reaching out again. I’d found him in limbo, which wasn’t actually surprising, he’d already done his stint in India, studying with the masters, becoming a Yogi and whoring the knowledge he’d gained for himself in order to survive. Always just trying to survive.

He was back in the states on the west coast, ready to head east if I gave the word. He was tired and just wanted to lie down, wanted to lie down with me. But I hesitated, as I always did, and no matter how brief or split second my pause, that was always the deciding factor.

We relived each moment spent, every truth ever told, forgave all the pain caused by endless lies and selfish deceptions. It was cleansing. It was cathartic. It was the most honest we’d ever been.

We said goodbye and promised to stay connected, though time slipped away and we never really did. Only after I found myself lost, once more wandering blind in the black abyss, did I reach for him again, only this time he did not come. I searched and quickly found that a brain tumor had taken my sage to the other side, just six months after we said our final goodbye.

I slipped deeper into the pit where no light could penetrate, lingering in my pain with no will to move from that place; and I stayed there for three long agonizing years. Until one night he came to me in a dream.

The next morning I searched and quickly found a message that previously had not been received. A comment left on a post he’d written after reading my words.

There must be something

Worse than being alone

More painful than lonely

Something other than death

Though I’ve yet to find it –

“I’ve been searching too. Nothing of value. I thought it was karma but it’s really just life. You move me with this one. This is powerful, this is truth…dying’s not so bad. I’m not haunting, but I am knocking.”

Death had changed me, for what I believed to be forever, loss had snuffed out my light and I knew there was no coming back; accepted as my fate to simply exist for my remaining days; until he threw a rope into the well of angst and urged me to climb out.

That changed me more than death could ever do, for in that moment I was reminded what my pain had allowed me to forget; there is no death, only a shift of worlds and our connection is never truly lost; and if he could throw me a rope from the other side of life, I could sure as hell reach out and take back mine.

~ jillterry 7.1.18

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Gypsy Soul

A fortress she built
Stronghold round her heart
Burying the key within
Tomb of ancient wonders
So that no man could do
As once he had done ~

©2015 jillterry

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Out of darkness 




Playground Love

I saw it today
For the first time
In forever
That place I once played
Free to be me

My heart raced
With undeniable yearning
To be back inside
The need overwhelming

I sat and looked on
Tall rusted ferris wheel
While memories spun round
Ghosts reappeared

I walked alone
Toward the area of abandonment
Through waist high weeds
My excitement increasing

A fence blocked my path
Surrounding the border
With a hand-painted sign
Reading ACCESS DENIED

My heart like a rock
Dropped and broke open
As I looked in from the outside
Overwrought with sorrow

©2013 jill terry
jillterry.com


Once seen

haunted

Day and night they haunt
Memories and words

Written
Seen
Lived
Heard

So many ghosts
Now only just one
Haunting more fervently
Than all others combined

©2013 jill terry
Jillterry.com


In this silence I believe…

First cut Solar Plexus
Vertical toward Crown
Counterclockwise he travels
Adding three more

Meticulously concentrated
With precision skill
Graceful fluidity
Masking exerted energies

Intently confident
A master at his craft
Superior abilities balanced with
Sheer will and determination

This perfect stranger
Fate forced upon my path
Whose concern I feel
Compassion openly shown

Determined to make me well
Give me exactly what I want
While doing everything just right
Guaranteeing quality of life

Of which this stranger
Cares and believes
That I, also a stranger
Absolutely deserve

My last night in lockdown
My final in captivity
My body disease free
Major organs removed

Final meltdown
Alone I sit recovering
In this silence I believe
As the rage subsides in me

Realizing he did more
Than simply remove diseased tissue

With the very first incision
He unchained my soul
From the demons had latched on
And for so long been in total control

He untangled the jumbled mess
Of my heart, my soul, my mind
He left me in-tuned and balanced
A shifted outlook on life

Centered on my self
The core of my very being
Coming to the end
The first book of my life

Filled with passion
Raw, unfiltered desire
Not a single want to look back
But to start penning the sequel

Of which I alone
Am the shining star
Having found my own light
As I stand and walk silently away

From that rocky shore
That blackened abyss
Teeming with fear-filled monsters
Once known as my life

©2012 jillie
jillterry.com


Reason for Existence

He knew
Without question
Simply no way to explain

Heartaches torn from words
Words torn from heartaches
Cold freezing touches
From the wicked wicked ghosts
Ghosts of Life Past

Blinding love
Illuminating pain and fear
Pain and fear blinding love
Illuminating distance and space
Clutching at familiarity and fleeting comfort

Trepidation ruling emotion
Fear of the unknown
Disaster plan in motion
Tragedy expected and prepared for
Never bearing fruit
But damage inflicted regardless

Simplicity all that is required
An elegance in reality

He loved her
She loved him
Should be the only ingredient
The only requirement

But nothing is ever that simple
Elegance never truly exists

He must, then, simply
Pray and hope
Petition the Gods
Sacrifice to the Fates

That he
Might be

Her raison d’être

© 2011 Jill Terry


STILL RUNNING

So many years
Lifetimes it seems
So much muddy water
Under those burnt
Forgotten bridges

Modus operandi
Fly in like the wind
Come and go
Completely unknown

This time different
Everything shifted
Perspective
Perception
Observing
With intent

Everywhere I go
Round every corner
No longer hidden
Painful haunting ghosts

Feeling a stranger
In a place too well known
Then appearing from nowhere
Making their presence known

The doe and the stag
Red tail hawk soaring
Within that magic hour
As if welcoming me home

But even though I’m reminded
Of people here that love me
This is far from my world
No longer my home

In a few short days
Will ride the wind again
Bask in southern sunshine
Search for sanctity resumes

©2011 Jill Terry


Poem-a-day No.6

Taillights dissolve

Nineteen hundred
Eighty seven
Miles
On the road
Slaying ghosts

Ⓒjillterry


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