Tag Archives: finding my way

Death Changes Us – 

I lost my first love to death at nineteen, chased his ghost for a decade; trying to find him, trying to find who I was without him, until I met the mate of my soul; found love with him so true and unconditional that I was totally free just to be and discover me. Now too, I have lost that love to death – my greatest love, my true love, my last love; and while I know exactly who I am now, don’t have to search or chase his ghost, for I see and feel him everywhere, in every thing, I can’t get past the pain of my broken heart to even fill my lungs with a full breath. Love changed us, it made us better, it created precious life from the best of both of us, it saved us more than once and his death has changed me still more. If I could feel anything past this pain perhaps I could find a way to peel my self off the floor. 
~ jill terry 7.7.16


I looked in the mirror today and saw a familiar old face – eyes too big, wide and weary, having seen too much tragedy for one single lifetime; and while I don’t yet know the destination of this dark and winding road, I know for certain it’s forcing my growth.
j.terry 10.9.15


Solitary confinement


The time is at hand
The necessity of change
Meditating on the emptiness
Reflecting to gain strength

Shifting perspective
From a sense of sheer urgency
A higher price on personal value
With a built-in guarantee

Cultivating self-worth
By looking within
The need of comparison
Entirely unnecessary

Casting a solitary circle
Taking stock of individuality
Positive inner qualities
Unique and hidden talents

Focusing on the goodness
The blessings that abound
Moving away from the darkness
Letting go of things lacked

Learning to be worthy
Of grace and esteem
Healing from within
Reclaiming a soul of beauty

Acknowledging that missteps
Are simply part of the process
Self worth is independent
Of how one is measured

Finding and making peace
In emptiness and fullness
Somewhere between reality
And all that’s ever been dreamed


Guiding Light


The eternal light of LOVE
Borderless – all powerful – Infinite
Highlighting the subtle insignificance
Of so many aspects upon which we place importance

The scale by which all else should be measured
The one clear path to truth – understanding – happiness
The guiding spirit I choose to follow

Throughout the remainder of this life
Into my death – onto the next

©2013 jillterry

Playground Love

I saw it today
For the first time
In forever
That place I once played
Free to be me

My heart raced
With undeniable yearning
To be back inside
The need overwhelming

I sat and looked on
Tall rusted ferris wheel
While memories spun round
Ghosts reappeared

I walked alone
Toward the area of abandonment
Through waist high weeds
My excitement increasing

A fence blocked my path
Surrounding the border
With a hand-painted sign

My heart like a rock
Dropped and broke open
As I looked in from the outside
Overwrought with sorrow

©2013 jill terry



Light and shadows
Drifting, shifting
Slow motion memories
Haunting consciousness

Flooding the senses
Unwanted questions
Internal battle among
Heart and mind

Eyes closed
To all that was seen
The depth and breadth
All space in between

No relief comes
Envelops completely
Every word shared
Each moment spent

Somewhere in the midst
Of light and shadow
Where peace resides
And beauty is found

Therein lies
Truths magickal answers

©2013 jill terry

Invoking Erosion


I wish it was a pebble
Easily kicked off the path
Rolling precariously
Maybe even bouncing
A time or two before
Landing in the ditch

Out of my sight
Out of my mind

But it’s a goddamn

No matter
What I do
How hard I try
It’s still there
Always there

Blocking my path
Taking up space
Making its presence
Forever known

In that void of emptiness
It once made a home

©2013 jill terry

Reflecting Decay


Glass petals faded up high
Glistening rays of violet gone
Turned a grunge sun
Memory of you wanes
World as you knew
Begins to rot
Till the universe spins
Moonbeams strike
A glimpse of bygone
Beauty caught


Marked for Life


It was the sort of happening
That marks your life


Leaving the world
And all you thought you knew
Completely unrecognizable

Nothing can ever be the same
No amount of therapeutic soul healing
Will ever put you back the way you were

And you realize

With that single happening
Your life has suddenly been defined
Divided into two separate parts


©2013 jillie

%d bloggers like this: