Tag Archives: dreams

toujours les tulipes

always the tulips
that ushered forth
the shadow of a memory
in a half forgotten dream

©2015 jillterry | jillterry.com



Master destroyer

I hit the create button, which pops open a bright new page, and sit staring at the blankness; eventually adjusting the screen, for my eyes are beginning to burn. The door is open adjacent to my desk and offers fresh warm air and the sounds of nature, stirring in the woods just a step away; woods that have offered me shelter, solace, comfort and fear; echoed my screams, absorbed my pain; standing ever so vigilant in my darkest hours, as pillars of strength, in the decades I’ve lived under their canopy; ancient woods that I have become so familiar, but have never considered my own; echoing now, with an occasional barking dog, and the high-pitched voice of a child, somewhere off in the distance. I close my eyes and absorb it all, willing my mind to be silent, so that I can slip away into nothingness; but the silence doesn’t come.

For new death has come knocking upon my door, returning an old friend I thought had become a stranger, leaving me with questions I wish not to ponder; while another, more personal, circles back around, turning ever farther my one true friend, into a stranger I no longer feel that I know; and I cannot help but wonder if perhaps Poe was correct, in all that we see is merely a dream within a dream.

The child is gone and the dream slips evermore with each day that passes; I open my eyes and remember them all. Moments shared fading to memories; the laughter, the pain, tears of fear, joy, and sorrow; all the promises made in vain, built on a foundation I believed could not be shaken. Breathing truth, feeling the hand inside me held, falling apart, going back; plunging the knife of light into the impenetrable darkness. Riding the storm, floating on faith; digging deep into old forgotten wounds; embracing, surrounding, as pain comes and is released to waiting, healing hands. Ecstasy, travesty, a vortex of chaos swirling out of control; complete fulfillment, and gut-wrenching emptiness; all encompassing, and at the core, just love. Now there’s…

faith no more
no certainty or knowing
trust or believing
nothing left to smile the heart
just a beating mass of scars
and a horribly sad
unforgettable truth

©2013 jill

Dismal hiss of intrusiveness

With the dawn of a new day
A torrent of realization follows
Illusions of grandeur
Dwindled to simplistic truths

Lofty dreams and fairytale fantasies
Borne for the minds of children
Have no dwelling place
In the hearts of damaged adults

The vicious cycle
Of damnation and destruction
Continues to spiral
A never ending circle

When the halls of the soul
Are entered and explored
Barred doors ripped open
The beasts within freed
To once more roam

Wrapping round the soul
Penetrating the mind
Hardening the heart
Of their very own captor

After a lifetime of suppression
Not for the sake of denial
But a well learned method
The only means of survival

A glimmer of hope
A bright shining light
Truth sought through the ages
Plunged into eternal darkness

Left on the battlefield
To face these demons once more
Nothing gained everything lost
A living hell she never asked for

A promise broken
Unable to face her unknown
Protector and confidant
Fled for the sake of sanity

Forced once more
Into the pit of her own hell
Her defenses weakened
To fight this battle alone

©2012 jillie

Memory of a Dream

Dinner by candlelight
New dress new shoes
Chandeliers slowly rise
The symphony begins
You take my hand
And never let go –

©2012 jillie



Standing at the threshold
Having followed the sacred path
I emerged from my own crysallis
Discovering the colors of my heart

I hold the key in my hand
Unlocks the doorway to a dream
I give all I have in offering
Yet still am not bade entry

©2012 Jill Terry


When great expectations
Fall short of delivery
Needs and wants
Remain unfulfilled

Wishes and dreams
Turn to imagination
Tears and pain
Are all too real

Search for the River
Without any banks

For life is precious
Time too short

We shouldn’t waste
What elements of each
We currently possess

Though it might not be
Exactly what we want

What we dream
What we imagine
What we hope
What we live for

Forced to embrace
Search for sanctity
Bending time
Feigning happy

It’s not right or wrong
It just is what it is
So we struggle to survive
Whatever way we can

Because only change can happen
When we change our selves

© 2011 Jill Terry


She walked with him there
Once upon a dream

Through the wonderlands of winter
Into the carnival of spring

Crossing that great divide
To reach green fields in summertime

But she lost him to the fire
Of autumns blazing forests

Now she walks the seasons alone
Leaving her mark along the shore

©2011 Jill Terry


Dying a thousand deaths
In the span of a single day
As one gut-wrenching reality
Overlaps the other

When the blinding light
Fades to black
At the sound of
Internal screams

Waking to a nightmare
Watching it unfold
Her unlived life
Nothing but a dream

©2011 Jill Terry


It felt each day without him
An eternity of dire yearning
Yet each time in his presence
Her life began anew

Never feeling the need
To be something she was not
But longing still
To be all that she could be

Her truest life
Being realized and lived
For she found herself awake
Insider her own dreams

©2010 by Jill Terry

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