Tag Archives: depression

TIS THE SEASON

White gossamer wings
Reflecting the north-flowing waters
Rapidly flying south

Grey clouds lowly hover
Looking as if to blanket the trees
Reflecting the heaviness
She feels in her heart

The sadness
That floods
Her soul

While others plan their festivities
To mark a time of giving thanks
All she can do is wander lost
Under a sunless sky

Watch the waves
Lap cold and lazily
Upon this desolate beach

Longing for that
Which is out of her grasp
Lingering taste
Of what she cannot have

Misery loves company
But she finds this untrue
As she sits alone
Along the rocky shore
Realizing there is no light
Left to guide her

Thinking perhaps there never was
Is possible was only a fleeting dream
And tragic darkness is her reality

How long she can withstand
Remains to be seen
Though she feels her self
Winding slowly down

And she’s neither the will
Nor the strength
To pull herself
From the depthless well

For even if she found a rope
And the fight within to climb
She would find no one waiting
Or holding the other end

Not of flesh nor of blood
But in spirit perhaps
That blows from her sight
With the first gentle wind

And what good is a rope
Tied to a tree
If not to end
Ones misery

© 2011 Jill Terry

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DISEASE AND DISASTER

She couldn’t be certain
Though it really mattered not

Which came first
Each feeding the other

Was the disease
The cause of her disaster

Or did her disaster
Cause the disease

Regardless . . .

Disease and Disaster
Go hand in hand

Ruling with an iron fist
Encompassing her entire world

Snuffing the light
Illuminating the darkness

Torturing her mercilessly
And those she most loves

Exhausted from free falling
Longing to take flight

Far away and high above
Where no one can ever find her

© 2011 Jill Terry


ENIGMA

She was a beautiful wreck
That he refused to let go of
Her insanity her sweetness
Her idiocy her brilliance

Inconclusive in the running
Head to head
Neck and neck

Never knowing
One moment to the next
Who she would be
When that trigger was flipped

Vile and venomous
Hateful and loathing
Sweet and caring
Gentle and loving

She’d become an
Enigma
To others
To her self

Her contradictory character
Leaving her exhausted

The wreckage of her fury
Weakening and breaking her

Mentally
Spiritually
Physically
Emotionally

Until all that remained
Was an empty shell
Not remotely familiar
Of her former self

She gasped desperately
Needing the breath of life
But the winds of change
Refused to blow her way

© 2011 Jill Terry


LOST LIGHT

The sun has dipped below the water
Twilight surrounding fast with fury
A cloak of cold and darkness
Shivering from the inside out

Though even at its brightest
The warmth is rarely now felt
Blind to the brilliant light
Once so eagerly basked in

When the mind is haunted
Spirit grounded by chains
Heart filleted wide open
Soul screaming in endless pain

A barren wasteland
Of lost hope and dreams
Which not so long ago
With happyeeness overflowed

© 2011 Jill Terry


FORCED ENTRY

I don’t know what’s happening to me
I don’t know why it’s happening
I don’t know this person
I see my self becoming

Who is this Stranger
I feel lurking inside me

The one that rises up
From some secret blackened pit
Ripping through the veil
Snatching me by the soul

Bounds and gags me
Wraps me immobile
Making me its prisoner
Witness to its rage and hatred

Helpless I hear myself
Silently scream
Echoing inside
Until my mind bleeds

As it storms in fury
Aiming to damage and destroy
That which fills my heart
To the point of no return

© 2011 Jill Terry


LAMENT

She stood in the kitchen
Near the recently cleaned table
Looking down
At the pretty blue plate

Burnt monkey bread
Three individual pieces
Neatly arranged
One for each

The effort at least
She thought to make

But ruined it
Thinking to herself
What was the point

When he walked past
Nonchalantly said
Don’t lament about it

She looked up from the plate
Then up further still
Into beautiful blue eyes
Filled with concern

Don’t what
She heard herself ask
Don’t lament about it
She asked him what’s that

You don’t have to be
Sad about it
Its only just bread

She felt something inside
Resembling a smile
Never a doubt
This was her child

She walked to her desk
Having just woken up
Looked at the wall
Almost two o’clock

He followed her in
Asked how she was feeling
How’s the new medicine
You still seem a little tired

She searched herself
Trying to find an answer
She found nothing instead
Only just numb

She looked up and smiled
Then answered
I’m fine

©2011 Jill Terry


STAR LIGHT STAR BRIGHT

Denied the colors
Of life’s continual circle
Trapped in a world
Of monotone grey

Diminishing life’s quality
Powerless to the rage
Prisoner of pain
No resolution
No peace

Senses once shrouded
By the fog of numbness
Deadened emotions
Now acutely sharpened

Heightened awareness
Of those deeper needs

Unfulfilled
On too many levels

Needing an anchor
In the vortex of chaos
Spiraling continuous
Out of control

Spirit screaming
For sustenance
For nurturing

Heart weeping
When confronting
Countless issues

Seeing so clearly
What she wants
What she needs

So close
She can see it
Almost barely touch it

But just as
The stars
That fill the
Night sky

She reaches
To find
Its light years
Away

©2011 Jill Terry


BLAME SHIFTING

She walked into the room
Not knowing what day it was
Every aspect of her life
Seemingly a blur

A swirling mass of chaos
Contemptuous vibes
Hanging heavy in the air
Filling her lungs with every breath

Feeling as if she were choking to death

Once again the truth was told
Falling on the same deaf ears
Twisted and thrown back
Then just simply ignored

So much easier to shift blame
Than look inside and self assess
To create a palatable excuse or reason
Finding her fetal in the dark empty hall

Feigning ignorance in empty solutions
Remaining in that safe comfortable place
Rather than attempting the slightest change
Basking selfishly in the illusion of happiness

Not really caring what’s best for her at all

©2011 Jill Terry


Multi-purpose

He uses them for everything
They often don’t mean anything
He leaves them with nothing

Varying degrees of his
Needs or wants
Determine the depth
He is forced to
Or willing
To go

Gluttony being his
Favored sin
He feasts upon
Their emotional
Need

Savoring the flavor
Of collective fear
Seasoned lightly
With his own

Desire but a word
Ecstasy a button
Easily pushed
With a pressured curve

The same spot every time
No matter the shape
The age
The size

Something he mastered
Way back when
Delighting in the power
Necessary for his
Survival

Giving them everything
Filling them up
Leaving them empty
To drown in their
Sorrow

© jillterry


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