Tag Archives: angst

SOUL SISTER

writing_quill_eloquent

I see you suffering and wish there was something I could do for you
I witness your pain and my own heart aches
I see you spiraling faster each day
Downward motion to nowhere land
I wonder who’ll be waiting when you reach the end
Unsure what led you to this path
You no longer walk but run these days
The shift came sudden and without any warning
Your sanity slipped and crazed madness set in
You pushed aside all that was real
Lost sight of your self completely
Chasing that ever illusive sensation
Known simply as euphoria
You haven’t a positive word to say
Allowing negativity to swallow you whole
I say these things because I know this place
Having visited and lingered a time or two
Your beauty and intelligence still shines in your eyes
Though clouded by your tears
With love and understanding I offer this prayer to the Universe
That someday soon you’ll find your way home

©JillTerry│jillterry.com

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FORCED ENTRY

I don’t know what’s happening to me
I don’t know why it’s happening
I don’t know this person
I see my self becoming

Who is this Stranger
I feel lurking inside me

The one that rises up
From some secret blackened pit
Ripping through the veil
Snatching me by the soul

Bounds and gags me
Wraps me immobile
Making me its prisoner
Witness to its rage and hatred

Helpless I hear myself
Silently scream
Echoing inside
Until my mind bleeds

As it storms in fury
Aiming to damage and destroy
That which fills my heart
To the point of no return

© 2011 Jill Terry


THE WAITING GAME

Nothing can ever be done

To stop
To slow
To turn back

Time

No matter how you long
To live in those moments
No matter how far
You try to reach beyond

Time cannot and will not be frozen

Feeling the oxygen
Being sucked from the room
When the door slams shut
Your time suddenly up

Left alone

Drowning in a whirlpool of reality
While floating on a sea of fantasy
Made of your own creation
As the clock ticks mockingly

And all you can do is wait

Spinning out of control
…..and wait

Feeling yourself unravel
……………And Wait

Coming completely undone
…………………….AND WAIT

©2011 Jill Terry


My soul sister,

Aries_by_lilfuzz6

I see you suffering, and I wish there was something I could do for you.

I witness your pain, and my own heart aches.

I see you spiraling, faster each day; downward motion to nowhere land.

I wonder who’ll be waiting when you reach the end.

Unsure what led you to this path; you no longer walk, but run these days.

The shift came sudden and without any warning.

Your sanity slipped and crazed madness set in.

You pushed aside all that was real; lost sight of your self completely.

Chasing that ever illusive sensation; known simply as euphoria.

You haven’t a positive word to say; allowing negativity to swallow you whole.

I say these things, because I know this place; having visited a time or two.

Your beauty and intelligence still shines in your eyes; though clouded by your tears.

With love and understanding, I offer this prayer; that someday soon, you’ll find your way home.

© jillterry


Insanity’s Final Adieu

His was a miserable life; wandering the globe pretending to be lost, feigning insanity due to all sorts of abuse; self-inflicted, youthful demons victim, to any and all who showed the slightest inclination of interest. In truth, he knew exactly where he was going, what the cost would be to get there; needing only to cross paths with enough unsuspecting souls to help him reach his final goal.

His mantra; a worn out stanza touting suicidal tendencies, despair and angst; deviously reaching out, spewing his seed deep into the core of one vulnerable victim after another. Setting his life on cruise control; riding the tides at the expense of others; completely void of moral conscience. Reveling in his cunning; laughing yass…Yass…YASS!!!

Glorifying and romanticizing his untimely demise; misunderstood soul, plagued to the point of suicide; lamented by the masses, singing his praises; his spirit rising, watching from above. Egomaniac, if ever there was. Imagining himself, even in death; the center of attention, in the form of ash.

What he didn’t equate in the miles obsessively tracked, was the road itself reaching up; in the cloak of darkness, snatching his pathetic ass. There would be no bright light, no tunnel of peace; only a blazing ball of fire, an eternity of scorching heat.

The spell broken at the moment of death; his pact with the devil signed and sealed; damaged souls once broken, now healed. A fitting adieu; to one who once declared that Karma is but a word…

Ⓒjillterry


Letter to Veronica No.1

Dear Veronica Lake,

The truth of us.

Something you believe only the two of you share; yet something we’ve all been forced to wonder about. We too had a truth in an airport, he and I; just as he had truths made up of lies with a plethora of intelligent, creative, beautiful, loving, soulful women; all of which were spoon-fed the exact same line, differing only slightly, as the situation, circumstance and female heart warranted.

At this point, you refuse to believe that which your mind has forced you to wonder of; as your heart precariously dangles by a soul string. Wanting so much to believe that he is who he says, that YOU are the twin of his flame, the mate of his soul and yours is the only connection that is real and matters. Refusing to believe that what you shared during your time together meant nothing, when it meant and still means, absolutely everything to you.

Finally realizing, for the first time in your life, since your karmic connection, that YASS, this is the way it was intended. Finally another soul on earth, who understands you like none other. No judgments; just complete, unconditional acceptance and love. Exactly what you always knew, in the depths of your soul, love was supposed to be. Every wasted moment and past mistake leading to this crossroad that brought the two of you together….

Ignoring the red flags, due to his lifetime membership within the upper echelons of intelligencia. Stories of his dysfunctional and abusive childhood, which as a mother you can surely sympathize. His self-destructive pain and angst, leading him to long for death; his only comfort found within darkness’ welcome embrace; singing always that sweet song of stygian.

Believing in your heart that your love for him can and will make a difference; that happiness can be found and shared, if only he would allow himself to trust, believe and take your hand. At this point, your perception of your own reality so skewed that you know for certain the only way to survive this life is with him by your side.

Wake up, love. This isn’t a classic movie you’re starring in; this is your life you’re allowing him to fuck with. There’s an antidote for those of us who have been infected with this disease; the first step is realizing you want and need to be cured.

The sooner you realize that there is no truth where the Hyena is concerned and the only reason he will ever come back is if there is something he needs from you, which he cannot provide for himself; the better off you and yours will be.

The only way to get back to living is by killing the Hyena. He must become dead to you in order to see and accept the truth; the only truth there is of him. The one too many of us have come to know…

Ⓒjillterry


I’m listening

The universe is calling; and I am listening. Ensnared in the trap for far too long; searching for a Sage while wallowing in angst. Conceding to the darkness as it consumed and controlled. Though not completely, and not any more.

The universe is whispering; and I am listening. Mother Nature opens her arms, enveloping me in her warm embrace; showing me beauty, nature’s sanctuary; her peace, her bounty and all her glory.

The universe is beckoning; and I am following. A child of Aries, beginning anew; harnessing energy, strength and truth. Turning attention from outward to within, finding my Sage the moment I did.

Ⓒjillterry

aries_by_chib


Hypocritic Bullshit

So tired of people…

Screaming for love
When there’s no love
In them

Crying foul
When they cheat
At every turn

Pointing a finger
Casting the
Blame

Refusing to take
Responsibility
For actions all
Their own

Refusing or
Unable

A sure sign
Of the true
Make-up

Is it any
Wonder
I chose this
Path of
Darkness

Blinded by the
Light
When true colors
Are revealed

Ⓒjillterry


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