Category Archives: Finding my way
Sometimes, all it takes is one beautiful act of random kindness, to restore ones faith in humanity and shed a little light in the darkness. I am surrounded by beautiful people and know that I am blessed.
I lost my first love to death at nineteen, chased his ghost for a decade; trying to find him, trying to find who I was without him, until I met the mate of my soul; found love with him so true and unconditional that I was totally free just to be and discover me. Now too, I have lost that love to death – my greatest love, my true love, my last love; and while I know exactly who I am now, don’t have to search or chase his ghost, for I see and feel him everywhere, in every thing, I can’t get past the pain of my broken heart to even fill my lungs with a full breath. Love changed us, it made us better, it created precious life from the best of both of us, it saved us more than once and his death has changed me still more. If I could feel anything past this pain perhaps I could find a way to peel my self off the floor.
~ jill terry 7.7.16
My mind ripples and shifts in and out of focus, searching a balm to heal this open wound. j.a.terry 5.11.16
Friends of ours gave us a Daisy Gardenia as a living and loving memory to Byron. New growth started appearing early spring and then without any indication, the first bloom appeared and I was awestruck. Not because it finally bloomed, but because it bloomed this morning, on his birthday. Further affirmation that he hasn’t left us, he’s everywhere, at all times, with us always.
That on this day, marking my 49th trip round the sun, I can glance back at all that has passed, with certainty it all happened as was intended; while focusing intently on the Now and not on what’s yet to come; for no matter how long or hard we plan, or how much we want to believe, life truly is not of our control. j.a.terry 4.17.16