Monthly Archives: January 2013



©2012 jillterry



Another day dawning
Another cathartic meltdown
Alone in an empty bed
Staring out the window at nothing

Feeling the weight
Absence of presence
Heavy on her being

And still it changes nothing
As nothing said or done
Ever has

But to turn love
To a toxic
Poisonous mess

Of her own accord
Of her own madness
Of her own fault

Even the brightest light
Diffused in her darkness

A star that crossed her sky
He loved her for a time
Then simply grew fond
Until one day he was
Simply gone

He reminded her of all
That she wanted to become
While she became nothing
But another scar
On his heart

They say when you die
Everyone wants to be your

©2012 jillie



Life goes on
Though not the way
Not the way

A purgatory

Somewhere between
Life and death
Living and dying

And I wondered

If in purgatory
There at least
Lived a chance

And if there did
I really hoped
I wouldn’t die

©2012 jill terry

Master destroyer

I hit the create button, which pops open a bright new page, and sit staring at the blankness; eventually adjusting the screen, for my eyes are beginning to burn. The door is open adjacent to my desk and offers fresh warm air and the sounds of nature, stirring in the woods just a step away; woods that have offered me shelter, solace, comfort and fear; echoed my screams, absorbed my pain; standing ever so vigilant in my darkest hours, as pillars of strength, in the decades I’ve lived under their canopy; ancient woods that I have become so familiar, but have never considered my own; echoing now, with an occasional barking dog, and the high-pitched voice of a child, somewhere off in the distance. I close my eyes and absorb it all, willing my mind to be silent, so that I can slip away into nothingness; but the silence doesn’t come.

For new death has come knocking upon my door, returning an old friend I thought had become a stranger, leaving me with questions I wish not to ponder; while another, more personal, circles back around, turning ever farther my one true friend, into a stranger I no longer feel that I know; and I cannot help but wonder if perhaps Poe was correct, in all that we see is merely a dream within a dream.

The child is gone and the dream slips evermore with each day that passes; I open my eyes and remember them all. Moments shared fading to memories; the laughter, the pain, tears of fear, joy, and sorrow; all the promises made in vain, built on a foundation I believed could not be shaken. Breathing truth, feeling the hand inside me held, falling apart, going back; plunging the knife of light into the impenetrable darkness. Riding the storm, floating on faith; digging deep into old forgotten wounds; embracing, surrounding, as pain comes and is released to waiting, healing hands. Ecstasy, travesty, a vortex of chaos swirling out of control; complete fulfillment, and gut-wrenching emptiness; all encompassing, and at the core, just love. Now there’s…

faith no more
no certainty or knowing
trust or believing
nothing left to smile the heart
just a beating mass of scars
and a horribly sad
unforgettable truth

©2013 jill

Because it makes me smile

AND he came with stickers!

Dismal hiss of intrusiveness

With the dawn of a new day
A torrent of realization follows
Illusions of grandeur
Dwindled to simplistic truths

Lofty dreams and fairytale fantasies
Borne for the minds of children
Have no dwelling place
In the hearts of damaged adults

The vicious cycle
Of damnation and destruction
Continues to spiral
A never ending circle

When the halls of the soul
Are entered and explored
Barred doors ripped open
The beasts within freed
To once more roam

Wrapping round the soul
Penetrating the mind
Hardening the heart
Of their very own captor

After a lifetime of suppression
Not for the sake of denial
But a well learned method
The only means of survival

A glimmer of hope
A bright shining light
Truth sought through the ages
Plunged into eternal darkness

Left on the battlefield
To face these demons once more
Nothing gained everything lost
A living hell she never asked for

A promise broken
Unable to face her unknown
Protector and confidant
Fled for the sake of sanity

Forced once more
Into the pit of her own hell
Her defenses weakened
To fight this battle alone

©2012 jillie


From Yggdrasil fallen
to the cold hard ground
my heart rotting
to blow away
in the wind

©2013 jillie


In the dark of night
My world is silent
But for the lone owl
High in the treetops
Howling for his mate

©2012 jillie


What’s written in the stars
cannot be changed
by the hearts
and whims of man ~

©2013 jill


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