Monthly Archives: September 2010

Wrapped in loneliness

She vaguely remembers him kissing her goodbye, as she lay sleeping in that big empty bed; though she wasn’t alone, not completely; for in her subconscious she was doing much dreaming. Then she woke and it all came crashing down; her reality, her misery, her fear and her longing. Images, words and thoughts, colliding into one, spiraling uncontrollably the halls of her mind; she reached a trembling hand, but again she found no one.

She emerged into the world, but only for a moment; for the light and presence of others unknown, pained her mind, blinded her eyes; and so wearily she carried herself to that place they call home, unlocking the door, assaulted once more by the onslaught of loneliness.

Was one of those days when she longed to lay fetal; unmoving, unthinking, unfeeling…just numb; but soon he returned with a broad happy smile, smelling of the road and telling her tales. Of the day he had, the friends with whom he met, the food, the laughter, the drink they had shared.

She smiled and nodded, heart shattering in silence; as she held back the tears that burned her throat and eyes; wondering how much longer she could live this life of lies. He kissed her on the cheek, asked what she was writing; “just some drivel, nothing you’d find interesting.”

He shrugged in acceptance, then turned and left the room; his brief presence trailing him, as if he’d never been there. She searched her bag, felt and extracted the bottle; shook out two pills, the ones taken for pain, hoping sooner than later, the trick they would do.

©2010 by Jill Terry

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Biding Time

Wicked wind howls
An ethereal lonesome groan
Branches sway wildly
Under stress a tremored groan
River rises white caps
Lash violently toward the shore
Rain slashes monstrous
Claw upon her battered door

Cowering in the corner
Lights flicker silent fear
Trapped within confinement
Those walls do draw so near
Every move and thought un-spoke
From afar observed
Unseen eyes do constant watch
To glimpse of her unknown

Strain of life lived in lies
Marks deep her tattered soul
Truth unveiled but was not heard
Conveniently ignored
Steps outside and takes her place
Within the wrathful storm
Insanity breaks as thunder cracks
Lost once more in labyrinths pain

©2010 Jill Terry


Her Reaction

She loved the images
Captured
As seen through
His eyes

Those things he finds
Beautiful
Those things that fill
His soul

Her sadness arose
Not from the images
Themselves

But in the fear
That never
Would she be
One of them

She is not the girl
He once knew
A completely different
Woman
He is just now
Coming to know

She no longer
Sees herself
A beautiful being

But a creature
Of spirit
Trying to leave
Her mark

In her struggle to
Maintain composure
In her fear
Of staying alive

She looked at those
Women
Having shed their
Inhibitions

Posing for him
Creating art
And it made her
Heart hurt

For opportunities
Missed
For years that have
Passed

And for her own
Inhibitions
Stolen in her youth


Incense and Patchouli

An insight to her life
The strange flight she’s taking
A familiar soul appears at her wing
Nudging her upward
When darkness would pull her down

He quoted a line, innocent enough
From a song she’s carried always within
A direct reflection of the way he sees her
And her soul cried out; a warrior’s scream

Knowing in that instant
Beyond all doubt and reason
He was the hunter she’d always seen
Lurking alone in the shadows of her dreams

Volumes of verse and prophetic poetry
Endless years of trying and seeking
Desperate measures in simply filling
This void of emptiness
That forever has lingered

Two paths combine and blend into one
One beautiful and perfect whole
Restless souls mirrored in complexity
Intertwine and mesh in the light


Them

He didn’t say anything about her trip to the spa.
He didn’t ask how her day went.
He stood and hugged her,
gave a half-hearted kiss.
He listened without speaking,
but offered nothing in return.
He never did ask about her meeting.
He did thank her for bringing home dinner,
then they ate alone in seperate rooms.
He poked his head in the back door,
but he wasn’t talking to her.
A moment later she heard his truck start,
then pull out of the drive.
She doesn’t know where he’s going.
He didn’t bother to think to tell her…

©2010 Jill Terry


SHE

She lives in darkness
Hiding in corners
Afraid of the light
Afraid someone will see

Buried in the deepest
Most secret recesses
In the empty shadows
Of my wounded soul

The girl I once was
Denied even now
Longing to be embraced
By the woman I’ve become

In a moment of memory
Taken from his dream
Two souls united
Running innocent and free

He reached in and touched her
Shined his light upon her
Briefly brought her
Back to life

For the first time
In forever
Made her happy
To be alive

©2010 Jill Terry


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